Sunday, April 24, 2011

Community Service

I'm being lazy today. This is an old dialogue I wrote for a contest a few years ago...Enjoy and Happy Easter.

Community Service
by Lisa McCourt Hollar 

“What just happened? Jane? Come on baby, wake up. I think we were just in an accident. Jane? Okay, well, it looks like you’re out. Just wait here and I’ll go get some help. __ Hey Jane, I think you were right; I did have a little too much to drink. You should see what’s heading our way. Oh yeah, your still out. Well it’s giant rabbit and I think he’s got a stogie in his mouth.”

“What are you looking at Jack?”

“Hey, he talks too! I must have really tied one on.”

“Who you talkin’ to? The dame? Oh brother, why do I always get the ones that are slow to catch on? Come on pal, we have a lot of work to do and not much time to do it.”

“Jane, my hallucination wants me to go with him.”

“Haluci… does this feel like a hallucination to you Jack?”

“Owe! The damn bunny hit me! Jane, wake up, we’ve got to get out of here.”

“She can’t hear you.”

“Jane, wake up!”

“Wow, you really are thick, aren’t you? Why do I always get the dumb ones? Jack! She - can‘t - hear - you”

“Jane? She, She’s not dead. I can see her breathing.”

“No, she’s alive, just knocked out. Airbag saved her. You on the other hand should have been wearing your seatbelt.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look out the window.”

“There’s someone lying out there. Wait a minute. He’s wearing my…NO!”

“Yep Jack, he’s you.”

“I’m not dead. I’m dreaming. I had a little too much to drink, I’ve passed out and I’m having an alcohol induced dream, complete with a giant rabbit.”

“You got the drinkin’ part right pal. You smell like a brewery. Good thing she talked you into letting her drive; you might have killed ‘some bunny’. Get it Jack. SOME BUNNY. Awe, the recently deceased have no sense of humor. Well come on, we have work to do.”

“Deceased? But what happened?”

“A bit of irony. You were side swiped by a drunk driver. Hit and run of course. You would have survived, if you’d been wearing your seatbelt.”

“So what are you doing here? You’re not an angel are you?”

“Do I look like an angel pal? How dense can you be? I know death is traumatic, but get real. I’m the Easter Bunny.”

“Now I know I’m hallucinating. The Easter Bunny aint real.”

“Neither is the tooth fairy, but I went out with her last Friday”

“Then what are you doing here? Isn’t an angel supposed to come and take me … unless, I’m not going to…”

“Of course you’re going to Heaven. Eventually‘.”

“What do you mean, ‘eventually?”

“Well, you died BECAUSE you weren’t wearing your seatbelt. Therefore you are the cause of your own death.”

“What does that mean?”

“Community service. You’re mine for the next hundred years or so. Now hop to it. Easters in a few days and there’s still a lot to do.”

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