Tuesday, October 25, 2011


This is day 2 of the Coffin Hop Web Tour and my story continues.

by Lisa McCourt Hollar

Tina could hear the fake mommy calling to her as she ran, telling her to come back. Terrified, she kept moving, her own mother's voice that she could only hear in her head urging her to keep going and to ignore the scary fake mommy that wanted her to come back.

Tina dodged around a car that stopped in the middle of the road. Mrs. McGraw, her neighbor was trying to get out of the car door, but her feet didn't seem to be working right. Tina knew she was supposed to help people, especially old people and Mrs. McGraw was old, but she smelled like garbage. Also, the reason she was having trouble is because her leg was on backwards. Tina was pretty sure that meant this Mrs. McGraw was a fake, just like the two fake mommies at her house. So Tina ran around the car and kept going.

"Tina, come back here. You are being a naughty girl!" Mrs. McGraw sounded cross. She never sounded cross, even when Diego dug up her garden. Mrs. McGraw was always nice. Now she knew she was a fake and didn't feel bad about not stopping to help.

She did feel bad though. She had left Diego behind with the fake mommies. He was ripping open the first mommy's neck and making all the black stuff come out. The second mommy had come out of the black, tarry blood and tried to grab Tina when she ran past.

Tears spilled out of the little girl's eyes. She hoped Diego would be okay. Maybe if she got help, she could go back and rescue Diego. But who could she get to help her? If her mommy was fake and Mrs. McGraw was fake, then maybe everyone was fake too.

Tina could see Tommy Jones' house up ahead. Maybe his mommy was okay and would know what to do. Then she saw Tommy's front door open and Tommy's sister, Melinda came running out, carrying Tommy.
Melinda opened the car door. Looking behind her, she pushed Tommy in the back seat.

"I don't want to leave!" Tommy was trying to push his way past his sister, but Melinda shoved him in and slammed the door shut, thankful for the childproof door. Tommy slammed his body against it though, trying to force it open.

"Tommy please stop! We don't have time." Jumping in the front seat, Melinda put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car started and she laughed. Deep inside, she had been worried it wouldn't. If this had been a horror movie, that is what would have happened.

Putting the car in reverse, she looked towards the open front door of the house. Did she see movement in there? Backing the car out of the driveway, she looked behind her and slammed on the breaks, narrowly avoiding hitting Tommy's friend.

"Tina!" Tommy pounded on the window, yelling at the girl. Melinda stared at her too, trying to decide what to do. Was she who she looked like or was she one of those others? Tina looked frightened.

Melinda looked back at her front door. Her mother...or what appeared to be her mother, was just stepping through, followed by their brother, Owen. The fact that Owen was only 2 months old and shouldn't be walking didn't stop the baby. He still waddled out the door as though walking were the most natural thing for him to do.

Melinda looked back at Tina. The poor child looked positively terrified. Making her decision, Melinda leaned over and opened the passenger door. "Get in!"

Tina didn't hesitate. When she had first seen Tommy struggling to get away from his sister, she had been worried Melinda was whatever the mommies and Mrs. McGraw were. But then she had seen Tommy's mommy and little Owen. Owen was always so cute, but he didn't look cute now. His face wasn't smiling and he was walking. Owen wasn't old enough to walk. Sometimes Tommy took Owen's hands and held him so he was standing, but usually Owen's legs would buckle after a few minutes and Tommy would set him back down again.

Tina couldn't smell Owen, but she was sure if she got closer, he would smell really bad. And not just because he needed a diaper change. That smell was bad, but not as bad as the fake mommy and Mrs. McGraw.

She couldn't smell anything bad on Melinda though. So Tina jumped in the car and Melinda started the car again, backing the rest of the way into the street. She didn't even wait for Tina to shut the door.

"I want my mommy!" Tommy slammed his fist against the back of the window.

Tina turned around and stared at Tommy. His eyes were red and he looked like he was going to cry. "That's not your mommy," Tina said. "She's a fake mommy. I think all the mommies are fake now."

"Hold on!" Melinda put out her hand, stopping Tina from falling forward when she slammed on the breaks. Tina's heart was pounding. She had forgotten to put on her seatbelt. Her mommy had told her to always wear her seatbelt. Then her eyes widened and her heart beat even faster. Standing in front of the car was Mrs. McGraw and one of the fake mommies.

"Buckle up," Melinda said, shifting the car into reverse. Tina quickly fastened her belt. Melinda backed the car up and then stopped. Behind them were the second fake mommy and Diego. He didn't act like Diego though. He had his lips curled back. Looking at Tina, he growled. Tina wondered if he was mad because she left him.

"Hold on," Melinda said, shifting back to drive. There were more others coming towards them from the side.

"Hurry," Tina whispered, afraid.

Melinda pushed her foot to the floor, sending the car shooting forward. Mrs. McGraw's head hit the window, splattering black gore all over the glass. Melinda screamed. Mrs. McGraw rolled off the car and into the road. Then Melinda drove the care over Mrs. McGraw.

Tina and Tommy looked behind them as they drove off. The old woman was nothing but a pile of black ichor now. Then, before they were out of sight, they saw a hand begin to form from the remains.

Check back tomorrow for more of the story. Comment on this post and be entered to win a copy of Flashes From The Grave. Also comment on yesterdays story, The Fake Mommy and be entered to win a copy of Halloween Frights. Be sure to check out the other blogs in the Coffin Hop for frees stuff and cool contests!


  1. Lisa; such a creepy little tale! I look forward to more tomorrow!


  2. Lisa's horror is chillingly CREEPY!
    not lisa, just her writing!

  3. Love the creepy walking grining baby!

  4. Wicked good! Love that last image of the hand forming from the pile of black gore.
    Hot damn I love #CoffinHop!

  5. Visiting from the Coffin Hop. I will put your books on my TBR list, especially the bugs one.

  6. I am going to be seeing zombie mommies and babies in my sleep Lisa....
    Creepy tale indeed...
    - Kim

  7. You convey the child's point of view really good here. The story reminds me of nightmares from when I was a little kid! A child lost in an adult world and because there are so many evil fakes she doesn't know who to trust--that works very good.

  8. Nice and creepy!!! Better than a cup of coffee to start my day off!

  9. Any story that includes the phrase "fake mommy" has won my heart. Well done!

  10. Steven Sylva-aRT is the winner of a copy of Flashes From The Grave. Please contact me with an email address so I can send you a smashwords coupon.