Death Wears Boxer Shorts

 Continued from Finders Keepers.

This is chapter 6 in my MG/YA Zombie series, You can read it from the beginning in Death and Zombies.

“Here,” Hal said, opening a door at the back of the community room. It was a broom closet. Sarah Quincy guided her husband inside, then shut the door. “He should be ok in there,” she said. “Oh, hello Jason. Are your mom and dad here?”

“Nope. Zombies.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Well you’re welcome to stay with us until all this gets sorted out. It will get sorted out, right? Someone will figure out what is going on.”

Steve and Darlene looked at each other uncomfortably. “Mom, what happened with dad?” Darlene asked, rather than tell her mother the grim truth.

“He was like this when I found him,” Sarah sobbed.  “Maybe if I’d gotten to him sooner … you know your dad, he’s a dreamer, not a fighter. Stupid Jeanette though, always getting in my way, and when I got to your dad’s office, the only thing I could find of him was his phone. It was, well, stuck in his boss’s mouth.”

“So where was he?” Darlene asked.

“I figured he went to check on you two, and I was right. He was home, fighting with Bruce Dixon over what remained of Petunia. Poor cat. She was mean, but she didn’t deserve that.  Anyway, I couldn’t, you know … Bruce Dixon, yeah, he was a bully and Cameron and his mom, if they survive this, deserve better ... but your dad … besides, there’s got to be a cure for this zombie stuff. Right?”

“Well,” Steve started to say, only to be interrupted by Darlene’s elbow in his side.

“Yeah, sure,” Darlene said, giving her brother a pointed look.

 “Your son says Death can fix this.” Hal said. “We just have to find him.”

“Death?” Sarah asked.

“The Grim Reaper,” Hal said. “Claims he’s in town and not doing his job, which is why we have zombies.”

“He can’t do his job,” Steve said. “I stole his robe and scythe for my Halloween costume.”

“Steve, you know better than to take things that don’t belong to you,” his mother scolded.

“Well he left them lying around. If I didn’t take them, someone else would have.”

“Then this would be someone else’s problem, but since you did, it’s yours. Return Death’s things so he can set all this right. Your dad isn’t suited for the zombie life. He’s a vegetarian you know. Zombies don’t eat vegetables.”

“I can’t return them, I don’t know where he is.”

“The best place to start is where you found them in the first place.”

“The lake,” Steve said. “But what if there are zombies?”

“Steve, your dad is a zombie and will continue to be so unless you return Mr. Death’s things! Do you want your dad to stay a zombie? DO YOU?”

Steve wanted to explain to his mom that there were no do-overs in the Z.A., but he also didn’t want to incur her wrath. When she got into these moods, there was no arguing with her.  He also didn’t want his dad to be a zombie. He was a pretty cool dad, unlike Cameron’s dad. He never yelled at them and would play board games, and laugh with them over silly TV shows. Maybe if he found Death, he could talk him into one tiny do-over.

“Come on,” Darlene said, “we can get to the lake through the camp grounds. Maybe if we hurry, there won’t be any zombies there.

“Wow, your mom is upset,” Jason said. The three kids were headed to the lake, armed with a variety of head bashing weapons. Steve was still in disbelief that his mother had actually sent him out there. His argument that he was only 9 and not old enough to battle zombies, was met with her response that if he was old enough to steal from a mythological being and start the zombie apocalypse, he was old enough to do what needed to be done to set it right.

“What are you going to say when we find Death?” Jason asked. “Sorry doesn’t seem to be appropriate.

“I don’t know. I’ve got to think about it a bit.”

“How did you know what he was wearing?” Darlene asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You asked Jason if the guy looking for you was wearing a robe. He said , ‘No, boxer shorts,’ and then you said it was Death looking for you. You have his robe, so how did you know he was wearing boxer shorts … with hearts on them. That’s kind of a specific thing to know.”

“Just a lucky guess.”

“There’s something you aren’t telling us.”

“Okay, okay, I saw him. He was at the lake, fishing. He was waded into the water, which is probably why he’d taken the robe off. Then some grumpy old dude showed up, they got into an argument and then, whoosh, they were gone.”

“Whoosh, they were gone?” Darlene asked.

“Yeah, but he’d left the robe and scythe. I thought he’d come back for them, so I waited … he’s Death, man, I wanted to talk to him, but he never came back. So I thought I’d keep them safe for him. I left a note, but then a few days went by and he never came … I figured he had a backup outfit and really, it would have made a super cool Halloween costume.”

“Yeah, what’s Halloween without a few zombies,” Darlene said.

“Here we are,” Jason said. The three came to a stop at the edge of the lake. “What do we do now?”

“Maybe if we wait, he’ll show up,” Steve said.

“Well he better show up quick,” Darlene said. “Look.”

Steve looked where his sister was pointing. Zombies were approaching the other side of the lake. They saw the kids and began heading toward them. Some were taking the long way around, but others were diving head first into the lake in their attempt to get to them … and it appeared zombies could swim.

They turned to leave and discovered that zombies were coming at them from behind.

“Where did they all come from?” Darlene yelled.

“There’s too many,” Steve said.

“Over here!”

“Who said that?” Steve looked around. There was a hollow tree nearby with a hole in it. A bony hand reached out of the hole and motioned them over.

“What do you think?” Jason asked.

“I think it’s a trap,” Darlene said.

Steve thought about what his sister said. It could be a trap. The zombies continued to approach from both sides. There was no where to run. He made up his mind. “I think we are already trapped, and there’s nothing to lose.” He ran for the tree with Darlene, Jason, and the Zombies close behind.


Continued with Tartatus, Zombies and Ne'er-Do-Wells.